9 common reasons why men lose interest in a relationship


Are you wondering whether a specific man has lost interest in you?


Does it feel like everything is going swimmingly in your relationships, then it suddenly goes downhill? 

Maybe you’re worrying about your current partner losing interest in you? 

If so, read on. This article reveals the nine most common reasons a man loses interest in a woman. 

However, before we dive into these reasons, it’s important you read the following sentences carefully. 

When men lose interest in their partner, they often begin to look elsewhere for potential alternatives.

Sadly, many of them stay with their existing partner until everything is prepared for them to ‘jump ship’ to a new girlfriend. 

With just a few of your partner’s basic details, this tool can produce a detailed report of his recent communications.

You can discover who he’s been frequently contacting, whether he’s been downloading online dating apps, what contact details he has registered…and more.

Of course, it’s better that your boyfriends don’t lose interest in the first place. This list of reasons why they do can help you stop that happening.  

1. It becomes too easy & he got bored.

Going out of his way to create new experiences, memories and moments for the both of you? This is the honeymoon stage. This is when everything is new and exciting and you’re creating all these wonderful experiences together, the love is new and the excitement and joy lead the way. Men can often view this initial stage like a game, the game of trying to win your heart, which they love to play.

If you didn’t already know, men love to play games, whether it be sports, video games or their favorite game – the relationship game. When they complete the game, it gets boring for them and they want the next challenge. This is an all too common theme that happens with men and it’s not just to do with relationships. One thing to know about men is that it’s not the end result that they love, it’s a process in which they get there. Take fishing as an example, men love the whole build-up and patience it takes to catch the fish, sure they love the fish as well, but the longer they wait and the more time & effort that goes into chasing the fish, the more they’ll enjoy it. 

The fun for him is in the chase and this is where a lot of the excitement lies for him. So what happens when he finally wins your heart? Well, his game is complete and after some time the excitement cools down. He feels like he’s put in all the effort to get to your heart, and it climaxes for him. He’s reached the highest excitement and he’s achieved the goal he set out to complete. If there is no new exciting stimulation, he’ll get bored.

You have to remember a lot of men love a challenge, they don’t like things to be easy for them. The harder and more challenging the build-up is, the more invested the man is.

2. He found someone else.

This could unfortunately be one of the reasons why he might have lost interest in you, and probably what you are most afraid of, but it does have to be spoken about. So, you know how when you’re not allowed to do something, that makes you want to do it even more? Well, men knowing that they are not allowed to be with other women whilst they are in a relationship with you, so it makes them want to pursue other women even more. So why would they even want other women if they have you? Well again, it’s never really about you, it’s always about them getting bored and unsatisfied so they are always looking for the next game to play.

So this ties in with the previous point, the excitement & chase is gone, so he’s now looking for his next challenge. Now it’s not necessarily another specific woman he is looking for, he is just simply looking for his next challenge to complete, which usually comes in the form of another woman.

It’s important to know that when a man finds someone else, it’s usually nothing to do with you, and it’s usually always something that’s going on inside his mind. Men will often have this insatiable need for something more, which they think they’ll find in other women, when really what’s going on is they aren’t feeling connected to themselves, and will therefore never be happy or complete.

3.  He doesn’t completely love himself.

In an ideal world, a relationship is where two individuals that love themselves wholly come into connection to express that love. However, what often happens is that men aren’t connected to their own love for themselves, so what happens? Well, the man will be trying to get love from you in a needy way, and what is worse than someone that is desperate for love?  When this needy energy is expressed. It often pushes you away, which in turn makes the man come on stronger, and it just gets more intense from there.

As a bit of a disclaimer for men, not loving themselves is unfortunately, an all too common theme. A lot of them have never really been taught to connect to their emotions and feel love, especially for themselves. They’ve been taught to bottle it up, be a man and not to express those loving feelings, especially those of self-love. So, too often than not they will find it really hard to love you, not because they don’t love you, but because they don’t love themselves first. So really if it feels like they aren’t loving you and they are losing interest in you, a lot of the time it is because they do not love themselves fully yet and are just expressing it on you. 

Essentially, if your man is losing interest in you it can simply be from the fact that he is not interested in his own love. How can he fully love you if he does not fully love himself? 

4. Life has become stressful for him.

When life becomes too stressful, a lot of our priorities and the important things in our lives begin to take a backseat. When something stressful or unexpected comes up in a man’s life, then that’s where all of their time & energy goes. So imagine you’re in a beautiful relationship with someone and your relationship is the focus of your time, so it gets all the attention and love it deserves. But if something unexpected comes into your life, then that’s going to take all of your time and energy. So this is what often happens with men – and it’s not that they are losing interest in you –  it’s that their time and energy have been placed on something that needs more of their attention right now.

It doesn’t quite matter exactly what it is, but whatever the event that has taken place, it will take his attention and be his main priority. So it’s really important to understand here that it’s not that he is losing interest in you as a person, it’s just that he is currently more invested in this external event, and thus it will feel like he’s losing interest in you. 

Imagine having an only child, it gets all the attention and love that you can give it. Now imagine having a second child, the love and attention gets split between them. It’s not that the first child isn’t loved as deeply anymore, but it’s simply that there are now more priorities to take care of. This could look or feel like the first child isn’t loved as much anymore, but really it’s just the love is being spread out.

Now this is similar to what happens when something stressful comes up for a man – it’s not that he is losing interest in you, he is just simply putting his attention and energy onto something else. Don’t worry about this too much  if this is the reason, because once things are sorted out and he is in a calm frame of mind once again, things will come back to normal.

5.  He feels pressured to commit to a future.

There is nothing that will scare a man off more than feeling pressured to commit. Even the mention of a commitment to a man can often make him feel like he wants to flee. In-fact you may have noticed that men seem to work in paradoxes. The more you want something for both of you, the less he will want it, the less you want something, the more he will want it.  This rings especially true when it comes to committing to a future. Men like to feel free and uncaged, they don’t like to think they’re being held back, they like the idea of freedom. 

It’s like if you tell a man he can’t go out for an evening, there’s nothing more he’ll want to do than go out. The opposite is true as well, if you tell a man he has to go out, he’ll more than likely want to stay in. This can be really difficult in a relationship and cause a lot of problems – by telling him you’ll be together forever, it’ll close him down and make him feel caged. Therefore, he’ll show signs of losing interest in you.

Now there is a balance that needs to be met here, it’s not healthy to just never talk about the future and keep it as an elephant in the room. It’s healthy for this to be talked about and openly communicated, but it’s good to always give a man his space and time. Then, if he makes the decision in his own time and space, it’ll be an authentic and true commitment.

6.  It feels too forced.

This point links and follows on from the previous point – if a relationship or connection feels too forced a man is going to lose interest. He doesn’t want to force things, he wants it to be a natural connection. He wants you to be like his best friend that he loves and shares intimacy with. Wouldn’t it be weird if your best friend kept trying to force your relationship to work? Being best friends with someone works because it’s not forced and it’s natural. So, when there is this feeling of the relationship being forced then the man will push away and it will come across like he is losing interest.

Now, this is not to mean that effort should not be put into the relationship. Like painting or building a house, effort does need to be put in to create the masterpiece. However, if you really don’t feel like painting and you are trying to force a beautiful piece out, it’s not going to come out as you wanted it to. This same approach needs to be taken for relationships. If it’s feeling too forced, then a step back needs to be taken to allow the natural progression of the relationship to take place.

Men will really jump ship quickly they feel like there’s too much pressure on them to make the relationship work. As we’ve already spoken about, men love a challenge, but they don’t like to feel like they have to take on the challenge, they want to take it on in their own time. By giving men space and less pressure, they will be happier to connect to the relationship.

7. The initial excitement is gone.

We all know about the honeymoon stage of a relationship, but what actually makes it that? It’s when both partners are creating for each other – creating nice dates, creating nice experiences, just simply creating new things that didn’t exist before. What happens though is when the man feels like he’s done enough and got the women, his desire to create new and exciting things begins to diminish. 

Things become comfortable and there is a feeling that there’s no longer a need to go out and create something new to keep the other person engaged and excited. So, this begins to look like the man is losing interest, which is partially true, because he is losing excitement. There was such a high at the beginning, so much excitement and new experiences for both. Once the new and exciting period of a new relationship begins to slow down, he will get bored and begin to express that through showing disinterest. 

He is not necessarily disinterested in you, he is just disinterested with life as it’s not as exciting as it initially was. To bring back the excitement in a relationship, you can create new and exciting experiences in your relationship. It should bring back feelings of the initial honeymoon phase that we all love.

8. The relationship has become too mundane.

A man will often lose a lot of interest in a relationship when it becomes too mundane. When we do something over and over again, it gets boring, no matter what – your favorite hobby, passion or activity becomes boring if you do it every day without change. This is what too often happens in relationships. It’s a beautiful and  wonderful thing to have continuity, but if the same patterns and days are repeated day in and day out it becomes boring. This will cause a man to lose interest in the relationship and you. 

What’s happening is that he is just becoming bored of the routine of the relationship and he has forgotten what it was that initially brought you together. Like most things, taking some time away from it really helps and can reconnect you both to the passion and love that is still there, even if it is out of focus.

A part of what is also happening here is that the external experiences and things you do together have become more focused on than the connection between you both. What you do together essentially takes more precedence now, whereas before you could’ve done anything together and been happy because you were together. The focus has shifted from the love that brought you together and has instead been outsourced to external things, which will not be able to provide you with the same kind of feelings that love does. So, he isn’t losing so much interest in you, he’s actually losing interest in what’s going on in the relationship. You need to reconnect with each other and make even the small things fun that you do together.

9. He wasn’t completely interested from the get-go.

A lot of the time men are not willing to accept what they really want – which is true connection, and instead believes what he wants is sex. So he’ll play all the games, say all the right things and before you know it you’ll be in a relationship together. He will begin quickly losing interest because his initial desire for sex has been fulfilled and so he’s ready to go onto the next chase. 

His intention from the beginning was never to be in love or feel a deep connection with you. Instead, it was just to get with you and have a more physical relationship. It’s not that he has bad intentions, it’s just both of your intentions are different and a lack of communication leads to trouble later down the line if they aren’t spoken about.  So becoming really clear on the intentions at the beginning of the relationship allows you to both be sailing on the same boat together, with the intentions of you both being crystal clear.

Although this point has been stated previously, I believe it’s important to restate it again, most of the time, he is not losing disinterest in you, he is simply not connected to the love & connection that he secretly craves. It’s more fun and easier for him to continue to play games of chasing and chasing, continually “achieving” things than it is for him to accept what he really wants – which is a loving connection. 

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